5 Simple Steps Guaranteed To Allow You To Spend More Time With Your Children

By: Dr Charles Sophy

Look around: Your kids are counting sleeps until the last
day of school, the local outdoor swimming pool is open, and
the temperature has sky-rocketed. Summer is here! Are you
still stuck in your winter routine? The one filled with
rushing around to after school programs, play dates and
endless birthday parties. Do you still feel the pressure of
hurrying your kids to catch the school bus and rushing out
after them to deliver the lunch that little Amanda forgot on
the table? Summer is here! Time to relax!

Summertime is a time to relax some of our daily routines,
allowing more flexibility into our lives. The holidays are
often a time where we anticipate lots of wonderful family
time together to create and share experiences that are
timeless. Yet many parents dread some of the practical
challenges of getting through the summer. Many people can't
afford to totally disengage from the routine of work and
adult commitments to spend as much time with their children
as they would like. Don't get caught up in the "all or
nothing" mindset - even small changes in your daily schedule
can go a long way to helping your child feel like the
priority in your day.

Creating more time in a busy adult life is easier if you
follow these five simple steps:

1. Identify the barriers blocking flexibility in your
schedule. Look for areas in your schedule that can be
traded off for more time with your children.

2. Address each issue identified above and rate as flexible
or inflexible. For example, a weekly team meeting would
rank as an inflexible activity whereas an hour at the gym
after dinner would rank as flexible.

3. Engage your child in the planning of shared time. Make
sure the time you spend together is valuable. Plan
activities that you both will enjoy and that allow for
parent / child interactions.

4. Be Mindful. Remember, you can't be everything to
everybody. Sometimes your commitments as an adult conflict
with your commitments as a parent. When conflicts arise,
talk to your children to explain the situation and let them
know how you feel.

5. Respect. Everyone needs time alone. Remember to respect
your and your child's need for "me" time

Let's look at an example:

Julie is a busy solo-entrepreneur running a web design
business from home. She has an eleven year-old daughter,
Sierra, who is days away from the start of her summer
vacation. Julie has signed Sierra up for summer day camps
but she also wants to spend more time with her this summer.

She looks at her schedule. Mondays are usually set aside to
start new projects or meet with prospects. Tuesdays and
Thursdays she goes out to a yoga class after dinner.
Wednesday are usually pretty light, with mornings set aside
for medical appointments or grocery shopping. Thursdays
vary - some weeks busy, others are dedicated to business
planning and strategizing for her own business. Fridays are
traditionally project end and launch days.

Julie looks for holes in her schedule and finds that some
activities can be combined with time with her child. Sierra
loves dancing so Julie trades her yoga classes for ballet
lessons with Sierra. As she has a fair bit of flexibility
with her Wednesday and Thursday schedules, Julie decides to
shorten her work week for two months of the year to free up
Fridays to spend time with Sierra. From June 30th to
September 1st, Thursday is the project end date. She
contacts another freelance web designer to arrange for
emergency coverage on Fridays. Julie's clients are
notified of the summer hours and of the additional coverage
available on Fridays should any emergencies arise.

Mother and daughter sit down and start planning activities
for their first long weekend and decide on a trip to the
water park. Now mom and daughter are both counting sleeps
to the weekend!

Remember: It doesn't take much effort to make small changes
in your routine to allow more time with your children. The
time that you spend (or don't spend) with your child has
lasting effects on their self-esteem and self-worth. Though
it may at times be challenging to affect lasting change,
it's worth the effort! After all, these are the days that
create lasting memories.

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) 2005 Dr. Charles Sophy
Dr. Charles Sophy currently serves as Medical Director for
the Los Angeles County Department of Children and Family
Services (DCFS), which is responsible for the health, safety
and welfare of nearly 40,000 foster children. He also has a
private psychiatry practice in Beverly Hills, California.
Dr. Sophy has lectured extensively and is an Associate
Clinical Professor of Psychiatry at the University of
California Los Angeles Neuro-Psychiatric Institute. His
lectures and teachings are consistently ranked as among the
best by those in attendance.

Dr. Charles Sophy, author of the "Keep `Em Off My Couch"
blog, provides real simple answers for solving life's
biggest problems. He specializes in improving the mental
health of children. To contact Dr. Sophy, visit his blog at
http://drsophy.com.